I have a news flash for all you studs that is going to change your life and make me the most awesome guy you know: buying flowers for your wife, partner, mistress, lover or whomever you’re sleeping with is the best thing you can do for your sex life and all around well-being. While you might be one of those guys that wants to blurt out “but flowers are expensive!” stop that crap right this second and listen to what I have to say. Trust me that by spending a few bucks here and there on flowers, you can become a wanted lover that will turn your sometimes boring sex life into the romantically overheated experience you want and need. Know that giving beautiful flowers is an asset to your daily life that will make all your relationships (family, friends, lovers, fellow workers) respond in a positive way to your being.
This world is definitely full of constant surprises and changes at a moment’s notice. Everyday we’re confronted with something new that grabs our balls and tests us to the max. We get up and go about life hoping that at least one thing we do really makes a difference in our world and the world of those around us. But sometimes there are those crappy things that get the best of us and we just want to run a hundred miles an hour and yell ”screw you!” at the top of our lungs.
We feel that way sometimes, friggn’ overwhelmed and just plain tired of all the crap that’s thrown our way. So buying flowers should be one of those experiences we can handle easily and not be confused about. It’s the kind of experience you should want to do over and over again so you can give that someone special in your life a great gift that they’ll love you up for. With proper flower buying knowledge you can learn to give something beautiful and get back what you’re hoping for ten fold. This fact has been proven over and over again, has gone on for centuries and will continue to go on for centuries more. Humans are created that way, responding in an incredibly positive way to receiving nature’s gift of flowers for any and every occasion.
So trust me and take a few minutes away from that game, food, garage or whatever the hell has your attention. Read and absorb what I have to say. Follow the techniques I explain in this flower buying bible and be ready to learn how the simplest of bouquets will show them how hot you think they are. This floral education is sure to get your special someone right where you want them to be, ready and willing to reward you with the best “thank you” you could ever imagine. And if you were only reading this because someone threw it in front of you and said “Honey, read this!” don’t give them any flack and just do it. This will be the one time you’ll be damn glad you did!"
A few chapter titles include:
Chapter 1: Monkey Men Had It Goin’ On
Chapter 2: The Village of Testosterone
Chapter 3: Men, It’s A Brave New World: The Cyber Florist Seduction
Chapter 4: Money Will Feed The Beast
Chapter 5: The New Hottie and The Village Screamers
Chapter 6: In-House Tail Maintenance
Chapter 7: Flowers Vs. Plants: Testes On The Cutting Block
Chapter 8: Sexy Roses of a Different Color
Chapter 9: Mommy and Friends Need Lovn’ Too
Chapter 10: The Neighborhood Piss Off
Chapter 11: Kiss Some Corporate Ass!
Chapter 12: Hasta La Vista, Baby…
The Last Word: And This Ass Bite Has More To Say?
This book is a keepsake and should have made the Exotic Flowers in Boston Summer reading list. Special thanks to Joe for sharing his talents with the world.