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In Lieu of Flowers Is An Affront To The Living

Posted by Rick Canale on Thu, Oct 17, 2019

Suggesting donations 'in lieu of flowers' for a funeral is an affront to the living. Sending flowers is an expression that helps the living grieve, a fundraiser does not. Better wording; "In addition to flowers, cards or expressions of care, donations can be made to..."

I tweeted this the other day. While it was received quite well, Twitter inevitably finds someone who will disagree. 

e.g.,

Tbd
@jmGreekwedding
"Wildly self serving tweet advising others how to deal with loss"
 
and my reply. My role as a florist has bestowed that responsibility upon me. The 'Emotional Impact of Flowers' studies by Rutgers and Harvard offers proof that flowers given and received help the grieving process. Thank you for your feedback.
RED SEA
 
 
 
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Tags: Rutgers Floral Study, Twitter, Harvard Research Team Floral Study, Funeral Florist, Funeral Flowers, In Lieu of Flowers

North Korean Leader Kim-Jong Il's Funeral Creates Flower Shortage

Posted by Rick Canale on Fri, Dec 30, 2011

kim jong il flowers for funeral resized 600
Dandong, China is a city of 2.5 million people located in the northeast corner of China. Dandong is the main portal of trade to North Korea. Flower sales in Dandong exploded as mourners purchased yellow and white flowers and headed to the North Korean consulate to show their respect to the fallen North Korean leader. A florist named Sun in Dandong claimed he had been selling tens of thousands of yellow and white flowers to Chinese and North Korean mourners.
yellow and white korean funeral flowers resized 600
South Korean news reported that thousands of chrysanthemums (the traditional Korean flower of mourning) had to be brought in from Shanghai to meet demand. 
This outpouring of affection for Kim Jong-Il reinforces the importance of flowers to help the grieving process. Although western media depicts Kim Jong-Il as a despot, it is clear that his life had a profound impact on citizens throughout Asia.
kim jong il funeral flowers resized 600
Kim Jong-Il's body was laid out in a resplendid garden of flowers and his hearse was covered in a blanket of chrysanthemums. The importance of flowers at a funeral cannot be overlooked just because Kim Jong-Il was a dictator. What should be noted that millions of people in North Korea are mourning his loss and they are finding solace in fresh flowers.
 So when you read 'In Lieu of Flowers' for a Boston funeral, think twice. Millions of impoverished North Koreans know that flowers help ease the pain.
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Tags: Funeral Florist, Funeral Flowers, In Lieu of Flowers

The Importance of Sending Funeral Flowers

Posted by Rick Canale on Wed, May 11, 2011

describe the imageThe following letter was written to SAF (The Society of American Florists) recently. The letter was recently published by Floral Managment Magazine. A funeral director's wife expresses her appreciation for sympathy/funeral flowers.

Quiet Ambassadors of Love

"As a funeral director's wife, I have often stood by others in times of loss and grief. When confusion and pain run so deep, words are intrusive and unwelcome - hearts are too full for anything but flowers. God's beautiful bouquets send thoughtfulness, reassurance and strength with their special perfume and color. They tell those who are left, 'we love you.'

Flowers are given 'in memory,' but they're a gift for the living! I tell people, 'Send flowers as often as you are able, and know that they will reflect your love - especially at a funeral home.' The saddest thing is a funeral without so much as a tiny bud vase whispering that someone cares."

- Bobbie Nelson

Hydrangeas in BostonBobbie Nelson strikes a chord with this note. She tells us all how important funeral flowers are. Even when the famiyl requestes a donation, the request does Not mean not to send flowers. You can often split the difference; $50 for flowers and $50 for the donation.

 Flowers mean so much to so many. When singer Johnny Cash's wife, June Carter died; Johnny Cash asked people to send flowers as she loved them so.

Trivia: did you know that the casket cover at the top of the blog was shown at Michael Jackson's funeral ?

 

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Tags: Funeral Florist, Funeral Flowers, In Lieu of Flowers

Open Letter to Funeral Directors regarding Funeral Flowers

Posted by Rick Canale on Tue, Aug 10, 2010

Funeral Flower Urn Boston FloristDear Funeral Directors,

We want to thank you for the important part you play in helping bereaved families experience the comfort of sympathy flowers and to let you know what a pleasure it is to work with you.

Flowers continue to remain an important part of a funeral or memorial service. Whether a funeral is in Boston, Cambridge or Brookline, funeral flowers remain an important part of the grieving process.

The continuing use of the “in lieu of flowers” phrase in obituaries, which is a major concern for us. We would appreciate the opportunity to discuss how the use of this phrase affects our work to help people express their sympathy, and how Exotic Flowers and all local funeral homes might work together to minimize the use of the negative phrase. Our goal is to help you address any concerns you have about handling flowers and to best serve your needs. This will benefit both companies and, most importantly, our valued mutual customers.

We would be glad to come to your offices or welcome you to our shop for a tour. In the meantime, if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact me at 617.247.2000 or e-mail rick@exoticflowers.com.

Thank you for your consideration and we look forward to meeting with you.

Sincerely,



RickCanale
(Exotic Flowers)
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Tags: Funeral Florist, Funeral Flowers, In Lieu of Flowers

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